you know how i know you're gay?

Well, i did the most homo-ist thing possible this weekend. it was at cocktail hour at a wedding reception this weekend, i was making my rounds, saying hi to people, loading up on drinks, and eating hor'dourves. so i was on my way to a bar station to reload my drink and i saw a friend (girl) that was talking to someone that looked like her boyfriend. me and that boyfriend have had our acceptable gay moments in the past and we mess around like that cause we know we're both hetro and make fun about it. it's like acceptable friend behavior right? so i walk by the dood, and quickly pinch his ass! i wait a second then glance back with a "wassup shawty look" that quickly turns to a "OMG WTF" look! the dood looks nothing like the dood i thought he was. he looked nothing nothing nothing like who i thought he was! i walk away with my palms up saying my bad dood, my dood, in the most manly way, so that he has no impression that I'm even slightly gay. at this point i'm thinking everyone saw that as i turn a bright red hue.

After i get my drink, bourbon and coke a manly drink, i make sure to pass by him and apologize again, just to make sure that if there is any beef i can squash it. but he was cool. so i go back to the table and feeling like i did something wrong, i confessed to everyone of what i had done. it got it's laughs and i deservingly got joked for my homoic actions. and for the rest of the night i made sure to keep a straight edge and not toe the line. except one occasion on the dance floor. haha.

i think i learned my lesson. 1. stop acting gay cause it's soo gross. 2. that kind of stuff is soo unacceptable, especially in public. 3. before acting gay in public make sure you get a visual of the dood that you're interacting with. but seriously lesson learned, i'll make it part of my best practices list not to act a fool.